Tuesday, January 20, 2009

And it's snowing again! So...

...I figured a picture reminiscent of a warmer time was in order...same shot as the snowy one below - our front yard.

Day two

As I develop my online voice, I admit I am getting to feel like a bit of a blog stalker. I discovered this great blog "synch-ro-ni-zing" by Ruth that is so beautiful and soulful that I then started following another of her sites "huffing." Then I was interested in other blogs she listed so I went over to her brother Rauf's site which is equally mesmerizing and so I added that to my "I read..." list. Is this okay? I feel like I am invading their privacy somehow. And this brings up another web-lemma (Web dilemma) - is it okay to publish photos one takes of other people without their permission? It's not like I am a news agency but I also just joined Facebook and am uploading my family pictures and had that thought - that I am revealing these private moments in a public way - do I have an obligation to clear that with each person?

Inauguration day

"But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America." Barack Obama, Inaugural Address 2009
In his speech Tuesday, President Obama said America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
Photo from CNN.com

I continue to be completely overwhelmed with emotion over our new president and the American people who chose him. I was tearfully impressed with his words during the inauguration and feel blessed to be witnessing history!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Day One

In keeping with yesterday's post, I sat down here in the office at 9:00am and reviewed my new Facebook page. I joined yesterday to reconnect with people I've lost touch with. Then on to funds management, now down to planning the rest of the morning. Here is what it looks like outside right now...
Today is Martin Luther King Day. And tomorrow is the inauguration of Barack Obama. I am overwhelmed with pride in our country for electing Mr. Obama - because he's an intellectual, because he's articulate, because he's not persuaded by big business or special interest, because he speaks of the things that are important to me in a way that reflects how I feel, because we all had the courage to show the world that these things are what are important to us. I am proud of what we have collectively shouted - and relieved that we don't have to be embarassed by our former president any more.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The forest

So here I am, looking at the beginning of the third week of January. I guess I haven't been seeing the forest for the trees. Every "busy" day that goes by is time not spent wisely. I choose laundry, housework, cooking, reading, television (that evil device), anything over self-reflection and disciplined redirection. So even though I don't understand blogging personal details of one's life for the world to see, I've decided to try this as a place to get myself on track. There are several reasons why this might be successful: I need to be here in my office in order to separate myself from the above listed distractions; there are some pretty inspiring things posted on these blogs and my own blog maintenance should increase the frequency of my visits to those inspiring blogs; the Web is where I need to be to reconnect with the world; writing of my journey will keep my "juices" flowing. I am sure there are other reasons why this mechanism may help me...I'll keep jotting them down as they come to me.

The process

By November, I came to realize that the respite I thought I had offered had become an escape for Mum. I also realized that having her here was an excuse for me not to undertake my own essential explorations. She went home after Thanksgiving to face her own challenges head on, and I had to finally face mine.

With Christmas coming, I decided to focus on the holidays and start pulling things together in January - new year, fresh start. 

Blue skies...

Last summer's blue skies seemed like they'd go on forever. Lots of storms so lots of great cloud formations. There was time to heal, quiet moments to contemplate my purpose, a promise of new beginnings. First, though, it was decompression - after all, I'd worked non-stop for almost thirty years. I had just been maneuvered out of the company through a series of understandings, "mis-" and otherwise. If I had known the economy was imploding, would I have done anything differently? Truly, I think the die was cast but who knows? In any case, I had set aside the summer to rediscover what matters to me and I would be all set in September to start on the road to my next career.

Then Mum asked if she could come stay with us while she recuperated from her fall. Of course, I said. Ever since Grandma died alone in that nursing home, I had always sworn that there would be a place with me for my parents. Now the study became her bedroom and the downstairs lav had a booster seat on the toilet. No biggie...I'd have plenty of time to get into myself, figure out next steps, opt for a second chance at what I really love. Days taking care of Mom, trying to help her peel her own onion, escape from her because that's where I was a teenager again, those days flowed one into another until fall fell. She didn't want to go back to my father - not yet. Oh boy!