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A Year...

2010-02-23T18:14:00.025-05:00

Sigh...a year has passed since I started this blog and I am no clearer, no richer, and no healthier than one year ago. On the positive side, I have a new and dear friend who I am very blessed to know. This is my friend Noel, with whom I have coffee and share stories of our lives and families. Noel grew up in Dublin, worked in London, then emigrated to the US with his wife. He is the most amazing person and I have come to love him.

Here are some pictures since my last post in 2009...

Our dog Lucy, who doesn't realize she is a lab. She is just another family member with all the rights and privileges of us humans, including sitting wherever she wants, lying on laps, eating anything that she can reach, and loving the cats (which for her includes gently rolling their heads around in her mouth until they look like opposums)!

Here are said kittens just after they came to live here last April...

...and here they are now (too big for one photo so they are separate...)
This is Finn (14 lbs) on the left..............................and Folie (12 lbs) on the right.

In May, I turned uneventfully fifty, at least on the outside. It has been more impactful trying to find a job despite the promise of "age blindness" and I am freaking out a little that I am feeling physically and mentally slower.

The best thing about my birthday (other than my fabulous family and the surprise and low-key party they threw me) was that our garden and yard looked just beautiful! Always a wonderful present each year the first weeks of May!

Summer brought beautiful weather, visits from family, beach runs, barbecues, but no jobs...

Ellen and Alison

Marsh in Sandwich on the Cape

With the fall, we joined a small chorus on Cape Cod led by a fabulous director who also conducts the New Bedford Symphony Orchestra. The music we did and are doing is wonderful and, much to my surprise, my voice has not disappeared but is actually dramatically improving under David's fine tutelage! I also joined a small women's a cappella group and discovered fabulous women with whom I seem to blend perfectly. All this is potentially leading to a move closer to the Cape and our new friends. I have applications in to the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution and hope and pray they might want me...

The inevitable first frost...

Kat's twenty-first birthday...

Folie enjoying pinapple yogurt...

Brian as Farmer Gilman...

Madrigal Feast singers...

And Thanksgiving with everyone...

Big pre-Christmas snowstorm...

And a blessedly downsized Christmas: instead of being depressing, everyone was happy to be with each other and we enjoyed good food and drink. Who needs lots of gifts anyway!!???

President's speech in Wordle

2009-02-25T08:38:00.006-05:00

Don't you love Wordle? The word he spoke the most was American. Was this to pull us together under that common description? I also just love the art of this (I have this reaction whenever I see this applet anyway.) I redid this to include all of the times Congress applauded...interesting outcome no?

Another evolution

2009-02-04T11:16:00.005-05:00

Today I realize that a new career/job/passion/path is not just going to appear out of thin air. I have had a persistent confidence that my next opportunity would be there when I open my e-mail or look on one of the job posting sites or pick up the phone to talk to a friend/colleague.

Now that I am disabused of the idea that there is someone out there aiming for me without my having to lift a finger, I need to create my personae. This is a weird idea since it seems, in essence, deceitful. I must author different versions of me to be presented to the various opportunities I have and will encounter. But none of these versions will be able to reflect my whole self because, according to the experts, that doesn't focus prospective employers well enough to be able to fit me into what they need. As a friend of mine said this morning, I'm "a foot deep and a mile wide."

So I need to parse my abilities and background by the kinds of opportunities I am looking at/for. General categories: government and industry advocacy; medical device management; general management; consulting; new venture/entrepreneurial; creative (writing, art, cooking).

Free...

2009-02-02T16:00:00.002-05:00

So I am snared by my own sense of fair play yet again. I have signed up on a bunch of job posting sites for my job search. The Ladders is one that focuses on jobs paying upwards of $100k so I have been spending some time plumbing that site. They offer one "free" advice session to critique your resume.

Now I know my resume is weak because all I did was set down my work chronology with no thought at this point to resume strategy or how best to market myself. I have not posted my resume anywhere yet because it's not ready to be searched. My resume critique came back panning the entire thing but offering a professional rewrite for $695. Does this mean that I should give any credence whatsoever to the comments the critiquer made? With the ulterior motive of having me hire them, it throws the exercise into question for me.

And it's snowing again! So...

2009-01-20T17:33:00.001-05:00

...I figured a picture reminiscent of a warmer time was in order...same shot as the snowy one below - our front yard.

Day two

2009-01-20T14:17:00.003-05:00

As I develop my online voice, I admit I am getting to feel like a bit of a blog stalker. I discovered this great blog "synch-ro-ni-zing" by Ruth that is so beautiful and soulful that I then started following another of her sites "huffing." Then I was interested in other blogs she listed so I went over to her brother Rauf's site which is equally mesmerizing and so I added that to my "I read..." list. Is this okay? I feel like I am invading their privacy somehow. And this brings up another web-lemma (Web dilemma) - is it okay to publish photos one takes of other people without their permission? It's not like I am a news agency but I also just joined Facebook and am uploading my family pictures and had that thought - that I am revealing these private moments in a public way - do I have an obligation to clear that with each person?

Inauguration day

2009-01-20T13:34:00.005-05:00

"But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions -- that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America." Barack Obama, Inaugural Address 2009

Photo from CNN.com

I continue to be completely overwhelmed with emotion over our new president and the American people who chose him. I was tearfully impressed with his words during the inauguration and feel blessed to be witnessing history!

Day One

2009-01-19T10:28:00.005-05:00

In keeping with yesterday's post, I sat down here in the office at 9:00am and reviewed my new Facebook page. I joined yesterday to reconnect with people I've lost touch with. Then on to funds management, now down to planning the rest of the morning. Here is what it looks like outside right now...

Today is Martin Luther King Day. And tomorrow is the inauguration of Barack Obama. I am overwhelmed with pride in our country for electing Mr. Obama - because he's an intellectual, because he's articulate, because he's not persuaded by big business or special interest, because he speaks of the things that are important to me in a way that reflects how I feel, because we all had the courage to show the world that these things are what are important to us. I am proud of what we have collectively shouted - and relieved that we don't have to be embarassed by our former president any more.

The forest

2009-01-18T15:03:00.003-05:00

So here I am, looking at the beginning of the third week of January. I guess I haven't been seeing the forest for the trees. Every "busy" day that goes by is time not spent wisely. I choose laundry, housework, cooking, reading, television (that evil device), anything over self-reflection and disciplined redirection. So even though I don't understand blogging personal details of one's life for the world to see, I've decided to try this as a place to get myself on track. There are several reasons why this might be successful: I need to be here in my office in order to separate myself from the above listed distractions; there are some pretty inspiring things posted on these blogs and my own blog maintenance should increase the frequency of my visits to those inspiring blogs; the Web is where I need to be to reconnect with the world; writing of my journey will keep my "juices" flowing. I am sure there are other reasons why this mechanism may help me...I'll keep jotting them down as they come to me.

The process

2009-01-18T14:47:00.010-05:00

By November, I came to realize that the respite I thought I had offered had become an escape for Mum. I also realized that having her here was an excuse for me not to undertake my own essential explorations. She went home after Thanksgiving to face her own challenges head on, and I had to finally face mine.

With Christmas coming, I decided to focus on the holidays and start pulling things together in January - new year, fresh start.

Blue skies...

2009-01-18T13:05:00.008-05:00

Last summer's blue skies seemed like they'd go on forever. Lots of storms so lots of great cloud formations. There was time to heal, quiet moments to contemplate my purpose, a promise of new beginnings. First, though, it was decompression - after all, I'd worked non-stop for almost thirty years. I had just been maneuvered out of the company through a series of understandings, "mis-" and otherwise. If I had known the economy was imploding, would I have done anything differently? Truly, I think the die was cast but who knows? In any case, I had set aside the summer to rediscover what matters to me and I would be all set in September to start on the road to my next career.

Then Mum asked if she could come stay with us while she recuperated from her fall. Of course, I said. Ever since Grandma died alone in that nursing home, I had always sworn that there would be a place with me for my parents. Now the study became her bedroom and the downstairs lav had a booster seat on the toilet. No biggie...I'd have plenty of time to get into myself, figure out next steps, opt for a second chance at what I really love. Days taking care of Mom, trying to help her peel her own onion, escape from her because that's where I was a teenager again, those days flowed one into another until fall fell. She didn't want to go back to my father - not yet. Oh boy!